Petty or Toxic?

Today a post that I wrote on Facebook a year ago came up. I am sharing again because it follows a theme I have been introduced to recently by some outstanding women (Dr. Yaba Blay and Omisade Burney) #TrustBlackWomen.

When I first heard this, I immediately thought this phrase was for ‘errbody else’. Pulling no punches, Dr. Blay iterated that this also meant me. Last year, when I wrote this, it was from place of hurt and anger due to my observation of a sister who was so frequently mean spirited to others. She was able to defend her vitriol by regularly throwing out the disclaimer ‘ya’ll know I’m petty’.

What, sis?  

If  you replaced #Petty with #Toxic would you feel the same way about your words?

As I re-read my words they are coming from a much better place because I am including myself as someone who needs healing. Let’s ALL #TrustBlackWomen. This post has been lightly edited for clarity and was originally posted on Facebook June , 2016.

We can all shine in our respective lanes. My shine doesn’t take away from yours and yours doesn’t take away from mine. Together we all can be BRIGHTER. This socially acceptable #toxic behavior is out of hand. One of my sister friends recently posted about her experiences with another toxic personality and I immediately empathized with her.

We have become so numb to being abusive to one another that we accept it as normal. It is NOT okay to expend so much emotional energy trying to tear down your own reflection. If you look deeply, we are much more alike than different.

Jealousy, envy, covetousness…#hate only take YOU away from being great. It is okay to be positive and when you can’t be positive it is okay to shut up. You don’t have to share your negativity all the time.

We have come to actually believe that a work ethic means “she thinks she is better than me” or that a thirst for knowledge means “oh she think she knows everything” The time you waste hating on your sister is time you take away from being your best you and a hefty deposit in your Karmic account.

When you are focused on you and yours, you don’t have the TIME or ENERGY to negatively engage other people. Stop looking at good qualities in other people and twisting them to feed the bad feelings you have about yourself. There is nothing wrong with anyone wanting to do and be their personal best. You REALLY need to figure out why that makes you MAD or makes you DISLIKE someone! And if you have a gaggle of folks hanging off your every ugly word and co signing on foolishness, then you need new folks around you.

Good friends call you out on your mess and encourage you to be better. You don’t have to sit back and backbite and gossip and tear other people down. Seriously. You aren’t truly living doing that mess. You might be laughing but you aren’t happy. Love one another.

This world is ugly and we are all we got.

If you have people in your life like this…#ERADICATE them #TODAY don’t worry about what they will think about you unfriending or blocking them. Take their power away. Stop engaging with them. You will feel better.

Now I got to go because I have to follow my own advice. And please know if you feel offended, don’t bother trying to engage me or catch my attention with a subliminal post, sideways comment, etc. You get NO MORE of me. #FightHateWithLove #PositiveVibesOnly #BlockParty

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