How you lovin’?

Let’s have some truth shall we? Well actually more or less MY truth but what they hell, right? You’re a voyeur ( I will keep your secrets) and I am an exhibitionist, so we match. You can ride. Please, get in.

I am really at a point where I am seeking some fundamental truths in life. Some things that are immutable. Like I love my kids, type facts. Everything at this point is being challenged. Am I who I say I am? Who do I say I am? Is that how people are actually receiving me? Because its important to me to live a transparent life. Because with all of the bullshit and hurt i have lived, I have a sacred duty to try to catch anybody else’s tears before they fall if I can. When you have the ability to feel people on a spiritual level and bond in ways that defy reason, you are supposed to walk in that. I believe that.

On a personal level that comes with a huge fucking level of risk when it comes to people truly and deeply hurting you. When your broken edges rub against someone else’s, everybody gets cut. Thats the moment when this thing we call love shows up. Who do you really love? What do you love? Do you love? And we begin to sort through those broken pieces deciding what we will release and what we will hold on to in the name of love.

We fight to our deaths grasping shards of broken glass. Our bleeding fingers are salve for our bruised egos and vulnerable spirits.

Love shows up when you look up and realize that there is no broken piece worth losing the love of the person across from you. Love answers when you look across and feel nothing but a desperate desire to be freed to be alone with your pieces.

To me, love is real when you can let shit go to move forward. Not suppress it but actually drop it and move forward in a healthy ass way. Winning and shit. Growing. Listening. Evolving. Finally moving to the next level of maturity and really realizing every battle ain’t worth the blood. Telling your ego to have several seats because she is guaranteed to fuck up everything immediately and irrevocably and be completely unbothered. Well, mine anyway.

I’m obsessed with knowing about my own love. The challenges have been astronomical! But I am finding that I am indeed who I say I am when it comes to love. And when I love you, I mean it. In whatever kind of love we have between us. Thats one of those truths, you know?

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